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"GOD has not called me to be successful. He called me to be Faithful… Never forget or neglect anyone because nobody knows what's coming tomorrow. You will know their value when you can't meet them once again in the lifetime." Mother Teresa "The more society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it…. If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love." George Orwell

Tag Archives: middle age

I Am in Love With You

   It’s reasonable to love. The real question is ”HOW TO LOVE”, but let me tell you something: “There is not a particular way of loving”. Love someone from the depths of your heart without any time to invade the person. Give to that person a personal space, because if you stifled the person he will finally hate you.

If you’ve ever been in love, you’ve probably at least considered classifying the feeling as an addiction. And guess what: You were right. As it turns out, scientists are discovering that the same chemical process that takes place with addiction takes place when we fall in love.

Love is a chemical state of mind.

Five hormones : Testosterone, Serotonin, Oxytocin, Vasopressin and Dopamine are guilty for the questions:

 “What is love?”, “Am I loved?” or, “Do I love?”

The brains of the madly in love look markedly different from the brains of those who are not in love, associated with craving and obsession.

When we are loved, we tend to feel it intuitively in our guts. But how does it work?

Is there an extrasensory perception in the heart that is able to read the feelings in another person’s heart?

Once in our life, we actually believe of meeting someone who can completely turn our world around. We start absorbing everything and actually want to hear more and in this way we accept the love we think we deserve.

And everything starts from the moment, when we start loving without knowing how…. We reveal our hopes for the future, dreams that will never become a reality, goals that maybe we would never achieve and the many disappointments life has thrown at us.

And after that?

After that he starts building the world of glass especially for us. And inside of this world he would not be embarrassed to cry with us, while we are hurting or laugh along when he makes a fool of himself.

I think it is so difficult to find that half who will make me whole and that goes for everything.

When I am in love I tend to focus on the positive qualities of him, while overlooking his negative traits.

The man I love I think he is unique, feeling romantic passion for no one else. And I am not worried what he will think of me, because I accept and love him for who he is.

I can be myself. There was no pressure, jealousy or competition but only calmness, when he wasn’t around. Very often simple things bring him to mind….

I open my heart knowing, one day I will experience a love and joy again that I never dreamed would be possible. I found that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart feel again. I am nothing special; a common woman with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. But I’ve loved him with all my heart and soul.

I am wondering, if this is enough to me?

 

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My Experience About How I Feel When I Love

I earned my place with the tidal waves.
I can’t escape this feeling, that I want you in my life.

I called your name as I crashed the gates…
And still I can’t escape this feeling, that I want you in my life.

No doubt there is much more that could be said here about the differences between loving someone and loving an idea of them.

Today I found out something I didn’t know.

I don’t think I would want love to function like a drug, giving me an immediate and sustained high. I do not want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.
To know love, I found out I have to invest time and commitment… I do not dream that love will save me, solve all my problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security, only keeps me stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love.
When I have to keep things in my heart, I know I will never tell to another person. They are me, my private joys and sorrows. I cheapen myself, the inside of myself, when I tell them. Even more, I tell the people the things about me, what I am not.

Suffering is the face of my ego-centrism. Maybe you asked  me “Why”? My self does not differ mainly from yours in terms of the way we think. When someone steps on my foot, only I feel the pain. The basis of the self is not thought but suffering, which is the most fundamental of all feelings. I found out the man I love wanted to stay in silence for so many years. Why? In intense suffering the world disappears and suddenly he is alone with him self. He doesn’t like change, he doesn’t like me – the women to support or love him. He was caught between the old model of being the breadwinner and the new model of being the lover in my life. Unless he really is able to look back at what happened, he can’t find my feeling. Suffering is the face of his ego-centrism. Only knowing that, he can go back and find my feeling, and the feeling is what counts. Why? True love is a feeling…which can neither be defined nor described! True love is not a choice. It is something I know in my heart when all guilt, doubt and fear are removed. Am I the best or the worst person in his life? Maybe I drive everyone mad by being so good.

The being in love part means the other person loves you and you know it. For a female this means that I sense the man loves me by his actions and words, tone of voice, body language.

He keeps at it, keeps trying to express his love, then I fall in love with him. Means we love each other. I love him and he loves me. I love him because he first loved me.

I am what I love, not what loves me back.
I need an everyday shot of “I love you” from the other person and if I do not get it,I feel sad. etc. etc.
Which means I found the man, who I love, and he loved (loves) me back and I did enjoy it, but it is not the source of my happiness.

Yes I know this is very difficult and it sounds almost impossible. But if you believe the fact, it can give piece of mind, and heal lots of broken hearts.

Actually the feeling of being in love is very close to how a human being natural feels.
Loving him and being in love with him are two different things, but both are important. The latter usually applies more to him, a lover, partner, or significant other.
I don’t think I can be in love with the man, if he did not love me,  without loving me first.
So, first you love someone for all their good qualities, everything they are, everything they mean to you, and the role they play in your life.

When you are in love with someone, there is a much deeper passion involved. You don’t simply love them and want them to be well; you actually want them and all of them. …It sounds a bit aggressive, and at times it can appear to be, if love is not equally reciprocated. But being in love is very different than simply loving someone.

Being in love also makes you vulnerable, because you suddenly don’t care about yourself as much as you once did, and you begin caring more for the other person. When you care for someone, anyone, there is always the possibility that they won’t care for you back. This applies not only to a lover, but even to a parent or a friend.

Being in love is scary at times because you never know what will happen. In one second, you could be in love with someone and vice versa, but in the next second, they could change their mind or their heart.

Loving someone is based on what we can do for them. When we love someone we want what is best for them. We are willing to sacrifice our pleasure for their good and we want their good to continue.

In my life, I’ve been on both sides of that coin.
It can be an interesting question whether we love someone or merely love our idea of them.

Keep Your Diamond and Celebrate the Life

middle-aged-manA couple of days ago a middle –aged man with the initials “MQ” found me on Facebook and started chatting. Some of the words I am still thinking about.

I start with the sentence the man told me: “I can easy fall in love, if I know you well”.

We turn our back on our inner wisdom and listen to what people tell us rather than using our sixth sense.  

Men don’t understand women, but at least they know it. Women don’t understand men, but they don’t know it. Does the following question sound at all familiar? 

Did you know you can read minds? 

Simulation theory states that we are natural mind readers. We place ourselves in another person’s “mental shoes”, and use our own mind as a model for theirs. 

We all have intuitive power. All of us have had feelings about people that have been correct, yet we can’t explain why we felt the way we did. 

We often know when a partner is lying to us, even if every logical sign is to the contrary. The problem arises when we choose to ignore these feelings. 

Sometimes I say “I knew something wasn’t right from the start”, a year or two after I did find what was wrong…. But I hoped for the best… If only I’d listened to my inner wisdom. 

The next sentence the man “MQ”, middle-aged man, told me was: “…with a big heart, because my Love is as big as Universe (it has a sense of humour) this means lots to me”. 

According my experience, I tried to find the opposite contest of this sentence: My concern is the whole middle range of men who don’t know what is normal and who, when their sexual habits or performance changes, become so embarrassed or ashamed that they pull away from any intimacy: 

The longer this problem remains unspoken between a couple, 
the more monstrous it grows, until there is an eight-hundred-pound 
gorilla in the bedroom. Nobody mentions it for six 
months, two years, five years; meanwhile, the pair stops 
hugging, stops holding hands, stops touching altogether, 
moves to separate beds, to separate rooms, and ultimately 
separate lives. They become estranged in all forms of intimacy 
because of this sexual shutdown. 

But is it as simple as that? The younger generation seems to have become more metro-sexual. They cook, clean and take care of their children. They use grooming products and wax their bits and are far more “feminised” than the 40-plus-something men I am meeting. 

I think the time has come for men to readjust their sights. Our culture’s masculine code dictates that “men don’t need relationships, men don’t need to be connected, men don’t need to be heartfelt”. It is not true.  

There is a thing called knowledge of the world, which people do not have until they are middle-aged. It is something which cannot be taught to younger people, because it is not logical and does not obey laws that are constant. It has no rules. 

Now I would tell you what I think about myself: It was easy, terribly easy, to become with time a middle-aged woman with a sharp tongue. I would have to guard against this. 

To lovers out there…  

It won’t matter on the age… but once you find your diamond …..Will you stop your search, keep your diamond and celebrate the life?