Nolly

"GOD has not called me to be successful. He called me to be Faithful… Never forget or neglect anyone because nobody knows what's coming tomorrow. You will know their value when you can't meet them once again in the lifetime." Mother Teresa "The more society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it…. If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love." George Orwell

Tag Archives: Love

The Highly Sensitive Person in Love

To the Sober

 

 

Why do people often not take high sensitivity seriously?

Surprisingly, 15-20% of the population carries the trait that classifies them as highly sensitive, which means they respond to external stimuli more noticeably than non-HSP’s. In highly sensitive people (HSP), the part of their brain that regulates emotions performs differently than their less sensitive counterparts.

One reason is that it is a mostly invisible trait until you are around an highly sensitive person (HSP) long enough to notice certain needs and preferences, such as wanting more downtime or disliking loud noises. High sensitivity is not like hair colour, height, or gender.

Yet I think this trait has as much impact as gender, in that it affects all aspects of life – how you perceive the world and think about it, the kind of work that suits you, how you get along with others and how they get along with you.

We all live in the same communities, but we have very different needs and we cannot easily recognise who is sensitive, who is not. Not being able to see it or even have a good term for it until now, the huge differences in how people behave are blamed on everything except the real cause.

This can be a real source of aggravation in relationships, because we tend to think that if someone is doing something that doesn’t suit us, they ought to be able to change that behaviour if they really love us.

I can give you an example as a real trait: often non-HSPs think everyone should enjoy noisy restaurants or “small talk” and someone who doesn’t is just being fussy, difficult, or demanding.

Being highly sensitive is incredible. It’s beautiful. It’s raw.  But it’s also misunderstood, and a power that isn’t always easy to harness. And, let’s not forget its ability to heal.

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Being highly sensitive is a natural and healthy condition, and it has a number of unique gifts:

  • Intuition – trust yourself

Highly sensitive people tend to be accurately perceptive of what is happening beyond outer layers — below the surface of situations, in the creases of crossings limbs, the pauses at the tip of exhalations, in between the lines, and without narrated reasoning.

Keep harnessing this power: learn to trust your gut, your ears, your shoulders, and your heart. Pay attention to the subtle reactions of your body aka inner world, and tap into the ability to feel the Oneness of all things. You are a vessel for transmission, and of great insight. Feel when your body is pushed forward or  backward people, places and things. Become aware, observe and react accordingly. The more you do it, the more it will grow.

  • Feel

Highly sensitive people can often feel the remnants of an experience, conversation or presence when entering a group, conversation or room. Being able to sense stagnant or left – over energy pockets creates an opportunity to learn how to cleanse, release, increase or decrease vibrations. In other words, to become aware of subtle energetic, flowing Universe around us.

  • Stop holding back, be Super Sexy

Yes. It’s true. Highly sensitive people are super sexy. Why? Mostly because they see through their hearts, love through their hands, and create with a hopeful light.

Keep harnessing this power: give yourself permission to move, create and engage in life intuitively, and with your entire body, and all of your senses. Allow yourself to become enlivened and so very open.

Sigh.

I’m a highly sensitive person, and I’m learning to accept and fall deeply in love with all that means.

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What you have to do when you love a Highly Sensitive Person?

  • DON’T TRY TO CHANGE THEM.

Most of all, accept them as the highly sensitive, emotional, complex person that they are. They can’t help how they feel and how they respond to the world, so simply embrace their true nature and enjoy the light that shines from their beautiful souls.

  • ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH AND DON’T HOLD BACK YOUR EMOTIONS.

Empaths, or highly sensitive people, read energies and body language extremely well. If you want to continue a happy relationship with an HSP, you need to come clean about your emotions, because they will pick up on them regardless. However, they don’t like it when people hide things from them, so just remain honest and open in the relationship. Empaths can sense things going on deep beneath the surface, but they don’t like to play games. They need transparency and trust in a relationship to make it work.

  • RESPECT THEIR HEIGHTENED SENSITIVITY AND EMOTIONS.

They have a deep sense of the emotional world. They can feel other people’s pain and will try to fix it. In return they find themselves with a broken heart. They wear their heart on their sleeve. They have a deep, complex personality and just long for someone to accept and love them regardless of the emotional roller-coaster they tend to put people on. Just love them as they come, and they will love you right back.

  •  GIVE THEM AMPLE ALONE TIME.

Empaths desperately need to decompress from the world around them, and may disappear for hours at a time in their room. Know that they simply need time to process their environment and recharge after going out in society, and that they don’t want to hurt you. They are not retreating or avoiding you, but rather, protecting their precious energy stores. They get their energy from spending time alone, so make sure to give this gift to your highly sensitive lover.

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  • HELP THEM FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT.

Because their minds run a mile a minute, they sometimes have a hard time falling asleep at night. Talk to them gently, caress their back and arms, cuddle with them, or even read to them to get their mind to calm down. Empaths tend to worry about things quite a bit, so creating a peaceful environment at night can do wonders for their insomnia.

  • GO ON ADVENTURES WITH THEM.

Empaths also tend to love nature and spontaneity, so if you love an HSP, take them on an unexpected trip. Surprise them; this makes them feel alive, and takes them away from the mundane nature of daily life that stifles their spirit.

  • ENCOURAGE THEM TO GET OUT AND DO THINGS THEY LOVE.

Empaths can sometimes get in the habit of staying home too often and becoming a total hermit, so try to get them out of the house to challenge them and get them involved in things they love. Your HSP lover might show resistance at first, but they’ll thank you in the long run.

  •  DO CREATIVE THINGS WITH THEM.

Empaths also love it when their partners take on creative projects with them – it makes for a great bonding experience, and plus, you might discover some previously hidden talents of your own!

  • SHOW PLENTY OF AFFECTION.

HSP’s also need tons of love, so don’t hold back. Physical touch helps to reduce anxiety and depression, and in empaths, they feel these emotions on a much deeper level. Your affection helps them to feel loved and wanted, and will easily win them over.

  • STIMULATE THEIR MIND.

Even beyond that, HSP’s need stimulation of the soul; they cannot engage in shallow relationships and meaningless conversations. Bring up topics such as how we got here, aliens, space, physics, animals, nature, or anything remotely deep that involves emotions and thinking on a higher level. Otherwise, they might just pretend to act interested in order to not hurt your feelings.

 

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I Am in Love With You

   It’s reasonable to love. The real question is ”HOW TO LOVE”, but let me tell you something: “There is not a particular way of loving”. Love someone from the depths of your heart without any time to invade the person. Give to that person a personal space, because if you stifled the person he will finally hate you.

If you’ve ever been in love, you’ve probably at least considered classifying the feeling as an addiction. And guess what: You were right. As it turns out, scientists are discovering that the same chemical process that takes place with addiction takes place when we fall in love.

Love is a chemical state of mind.

Five hormones : Testosterone, Serotonin, Oxytocin, Vasopressin and Dopamine are guilty for the questions:

 “What is love?”, “Am I loved?” or, “Do I love?”

The brains of the madly in love look markedly different from the brains of those who are not in love, associated with craving and obsession.

When we are loved, we tend to feel it intuitively in our guts. But how does it work?

Is there an extrasensory perception in the heart that is able to read the feelings in another person’s heart?

Once in our life, we actually believe of meeting someone who can completely turn our world around. We start absorbing everything and actually want to hear more and in this way we accept the love we think we deserve.

And everything starts from the moment, when we start loving without knowing how…. We reveal our hopes for the future, dreams that will never become a reality, goals that maybe we would never achieve and the many disappointments life has thrown at us.

And after that?

After that he starts building the world of glass especially for us. And inside of this world he would not be embarrassed to cry with us, while we are hurting or laugh along when he makes a fool of himself.

I think it is so difficult to find that half who will make me whole and that goes for everything.

When I am in love I tend to focus on the positive qualities of him, while overlooking his negative traits.

The man I love I think he is unique, feeling romantic passion for no one else. And I am not worried what he will think of me, because I accept and love him for who he is.

I can be myself. There was no pressure, jealousy or competition but only calmness, when he wasn’t around. Very often simple things bring him to mind….

I open my heart knowing, one day I will experience a love and joy again that I never dreamed would be possible. I found that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart feel again. I am nothing special; a common woman with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. But I’ve loved him with all my heart and soul.

I am wondering, if this is enough to me?

 

Whisper

Translated by me, Bulgarian to English translation

When love disappeared,
the pain and sadness is back and all is clear.
When the day’s gone,
the night swims around me
like a black swan.
When he decides to go
“Does he do it slow?”
Yes, you were watching your love dying.
Yes, you were unlimitedly crying.
You’ll feel guilty that you’re still breathing.
But you can’t stop.
Yes, your heart is still bleeding.
Is it a tear or a raindrop?
The dream was here, waiting
to disappear in the depths or sing.
The past beats inside me like a second heart.
To welcome the next fresh start.
Was this love… Acceptance,
Understanding, Appreciation?
Did this love understand the reason,
causing the huge mutation?!

След залеза на всяка обич,
настъпва болка и тъга.
След залеза на всяка вечер
остава мрак и тишина.
Когато някои си отива,
ти нямаш сили да го спреш.
Когато видиш че една любов умира,
ти не можеш с нея да умреш.
Разбираш че мечтите са измама,
че си обичала, а обич няма,
че споменът е болка отлетяла,
че си била щастлива, а не си разбрала. 
― Blaga Dimitrova

The Paradoxical Commandments

The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
― Kent M. Keith

Don’t Go in if You Don’t Have a Skin

He swallowed his proudness: “How do you feel?”
I answered: “I feel like I want to touch you, turn down the lights and crawl into that bed with you and spend the night making love with you. All night.”
He asked: “All night?”
I nodded.
“Deal”, he said.

In the past I used to tell myself: “You meant the world to me. Every day I wanted to show you, and every day I wanted to prove to you just how much you meant to me….People aren’t always what you want them to be. A lifetime isn’t forever, so take the first chance, don’t wait for the second one! Sometimes someone can disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. If you have a fall, only then you will teach yourself how to get up.  Because sometimes, there aren’t second chances! And if it turns out to be a mistake? So what! This is my life! A whole bunch of mistakes. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope.  It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be.”

Or: “Hearts will break and people will hurt you, darling. Don’t allow somebody to control your life or allow to have a grater hold on your happiness.”

But now I think positively: Every minute that goes by will not return. Every day I’ll show you, and every day I’ll prove to you just how much you mean to me. How much you still mean to me. Some things just couldn’t be protected from storms. Some things simply needed to be broken off…Once you accept the fact that every day is a new day to begin again, life becomes a much easier path to walk. If you never get a second chance: Don’t be afraid! And what if you do get a second chance? You take it! Getting a second life is one thing. Making it a better life, that’s the trick.  I believe, that second chances are stronger than secrets. You can let secrets go. But a second chance? You don’t let that pass you by.

Keep Your Diamond and Celebrate the Life

middle-aged-manA couple of days ago a middle –aged man with the initials “MQ” found me on Facebook and started chatting. Some of the words I am still thinking about.

I start with the sentence the man told me: “I can easy fall in love, if I know you well”.

We turn our back on our inner wisdom and listen to what people tell us rather than using our sixth sense.  

Men don’t understand women, but at least they know it. Women don’t understand men, but they don’t know it. Does the following question sound at all familiar? 

Did you know you can read minds? 

Simulation theory states that we are natural mind readers. We place ourselves in another person’s “mental shoes”, and use our own mind as a model for theirs. 

We all have intuitive power. All of us have had feelings about people that have been correct, yet we can’t explain why we felt the way we did. 

We often know when a partner is lying to us, even if every logical sign is to the contrary. The problem arises when we choose to ignore these feelings. 

Sometimes I say “I knew something wasn’t right from the start”, a year or two after I did find what was wrong…. But I hoped for the best… If only I’d listened to my inner wisdom. 

The next sentence the man “MQ”, middle-aged man, told me was: “…with a big heart, because my Love is as big as Universe (it has a sense of humour) this means lots to me”. 

According my experience, I tried to find the opposite contest of this sentence: My concern is the whole middle range of men who don’t know what is normal and who, when their sexual habits or performance changes, become so embarrassed or ashamed that they pull away from any intimacy: 

The longer this problem remains unspoken between a couple, 
the more monstrous it grows, until there is an eight-hundred-pound 
gorilla in the bedroom. Nobody mentions it for six 
months, two years, five years; meanwhile, the pair stops 
hugging, stops holding hands, stops touching altogether, 
moves to separate beds, to separate rooms, and ultimately 
separate lives. They become estranged in all forms of intimacy 
because of this sexual shutdown. 

But is it as simple as that? The younger generation seems to have become more metro-sexual. They cook, clean and take care of their children. They use grooming products and wax their bits and are far more “feminised” than the 40-plus-something men I am meeting. 

I think the time has come for men to readjust their sights. Our culture’s masculine code dictates that “men don’t need relationships, men don’t need to be connected, men don’t need to be heartfelt”. It is not true.  

There is a thing called knowledge of the world, which people do not have until they are middle-aged. It is something which cannot be taught to younger people, because it is not logical and does not obey laws that are constant. It has no rules. 

Now I would tell you what I think about myself: It was easy, terribly easy, to become with time a middle-aged woman with a sharp tongue. I would have to guard against this. 

To lovers out there…  

It won’t matter on the age… but once you find your diamond …..Will you stop your search, keep your diamond and celebrate the life? 

Memories

Five Years Ago

“What I like about photographs is that they capture a moment that’s gone forever, impossible to reproduce.”

 

Tell Him

I can tell you some of the things I didn’t learn during my school years:

  • Learning about Logical Consequence is a good place to start.

  • Learning to Speak and Listen. The younger generation has been called the Silent generation….

  • Along with Manners should be extended Kindness and Respect for all people encountered in normal society.

  • It is better to know how to Defend oneself and never need to, than need to and not know how to.

  • They didn’t mention anything about Dating and Romantic relationships. “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly”, said G. K. Chesterton. With some things we will be awkward and fumble when we are learning about how to do them.

  • They didn’t teach me how to be Rich or how to be Poor.

  • They didn’t teach me how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind.

  • They din’t teach me how to tell you, My Darling, I love you so much

  • They didn’t teach me anything worth knowing.