Recent Posts: Nolly
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"GOD has not called me to be successful. He called me to be Faithful… Never forget or neglect anyone because nobody knows what's coming tomorrow. You will know their value when you can't meet them once again in the lifetime." Mother Teresa "The more society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it…. If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love." George Orwell
No doubt there is much more that could be said here about the differences between loving someone and loving an idea of them.
I don’t think I would want love to function like a drug, giving me an immediate and sustained high. I do not want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.
To know love, I found out I have to invest time and commitment… I do not dream that love will save me, solve all my problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security, only keeps me stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love.
When I have to keep things in my heart, I know I will never tell to another person. They are me, my private joys and sorrows. I cheapen myself, the inside of myself, when I tell them. Even more, I tell the people the things about me, what I am not.
Suffering is the face of my ego-centrism. Maybe you asked me “Why”? My self does not differ mainly from yours in terms of the way we think. When someone steps on my foot, only I feel the pain. The basis of the self is not thought but suffering, which is the most fundamental of all feelings. I found out the man I love wanted to stay in silence for so many years. Why? In intense suffering the world disappears and suddenly he is alone with him self. He doesn’t like change, he doesn’t like me – the women to support or love him. He was caught between the old model of being the breadwinner and the new model of being the lover in my life. Unless he really is able to look back at what happened, he can’t find my feeling. Suffering is the face of his ego-centrism. Only knowing that, he can go back and find my feeling, and the feeling is what counts. Why? True love is a feeling…which can neither be defined nor described! True love is not a choice. It is something I know in my heart when all guilt, doubt and fear are removed. Am I the best or the worst person in his life? Maybe I drive everyone mad by being so good.
The being in love part means the other person loves you and you know it. For a female this means that I sense the man loves me by his actions and words, tone of voice, body language.
I am what I love, not what loves me back.
I need an everyday shot of “I love you” from the other person and if I do not get it,I feel sad. etc. etc.
Which means I found the man, who I love, and he loved (loves) me back and I did enjoy it, but it is not the source of my happiness.
Yes I know this is very difficult and it sounds almost impossible. But if you believe the fact, it can give piece of mind, and heal lots of broken hearts.
Actually the feeling of being in love is very close to how a human being natural feels.
Loving him and being in love with him are two different things, but both are important. The latter usually applies more to him, a lover, partner, or significant other.
I don’t think I can be in love with the man, if he did not love me, without loving me first.
So, first you love someone for all their good qualities, everything they are, everything they mean to you, and the role they play in your life.
When you are in love with someone, there is a much deeper passion involved. You don’t simply love them and want them to be well; you actually want them and all of them. …It sounds a bit aggressive, and at times it can appear to be, if love is not equally reciprocated. But being in love is very different than simply loving someone.
Loving someone is based on what we can do for them. When we love someone we want what is best for them. We are willing to sacrifice our pleasure for their good and we want their good to continue.
In my life, I’ve been on both sides of that coin.
It can be an interesting question whether we love someone or merely love our idea of them.
He swallowed his proudness: “How do you feel?”
I answered: “I feel like I want to touch you, turn down the lights and crawl into that bed with you and spend the night making love with you. All night.”
He asked: “All night?”
“Deal”, he said.