Nolly

"GOD has not called me to be successful. He called me to be Faithful… Never forget or neglect anyone because nobody knows what's coming tomorrow. You will know their value when you can't meet them once again in the lifetime." Mother Teresa "The more society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it…. If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love." George Orwell

Tag Archives: Life

I Am in Love With You

   It’s reasonable to love. The real question is ”HOW TO LOVE”, but let me tell you something: “There is not a particular way of loving”. Love someone from the depths of your heart without any time to invade the person. Give to that person a personal space, because if you stifled the person he will finally hate you.

If you’ve ever been in love, you’ve probably at least considered classifying the feeling as an addiction. And guess what: You were right. As it turns out, scientists are discovering that the same chemical process that takes place with addiction takes place when we fall in love.

Love is a chemical state of mind.

Five hormones : Testosterone, Serotonin, Oxytocin, Vasopressin and Dopamine are guilty for the questions:

 “What is love?”, “Am I loved?” or, “Do I love?”

The brains of the madly in love look markedly different from the brains of those who are not in love, associated with craving and obsession.

When we are loved, we tend to feel it intuitively in our guts. But how does it work?

Is there an extrasensory perception in the heart that is able to read the feelings in another person’s heart?

Once in our life, we actually believe of meeting someone who can completely turn our world around. We start absorbing everything and actually want to hear more and in this way we accept the love we think we deserve.

And everything starts from the moment, when we start loving without knowing how…. We reveal our hopes for the future, dreams that will never become a reality, goals that maybe we would never achieve and the many disappointments life has thrown at us.

And after that?

After that he starts building the world of glass especially for us. And inside of this world he would not be embarrassed to cry with us, while we are hurting or laugh along when he makes a fool of himself.

I think it is so difficult to find that half who will make me whole and that goes for everything.

When I am in love I tend to focus on the positive qualities of him, while overlooking his negative traits.

The man I love I think he is unique, feeling romantic passion for no one else. And I am not worried what he will think of me, because I accept and love him for who he is.

I can be myself. There was no pressure, jealousy or competition but only calmness, when he wasn’t around. Very often simple things bring him to mind….

I open my heart knowing, one day I will experience a love and joy again that I never dreamed would be possible. I found that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart feel again. I am nothing special; a common woman with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. But I’ve loved him with all my heart and soul.

I am wondering, if this is enough to me?

 

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My Experience About How I Feel When I Love

I earned my place with the tidal waves.
I can’t escape this feeling, that I want you in my life.

I called your name as I crashed the gates…
And still I can’t escape this feeling, that I want you in my life.

No doubt there is much more that could be said here about the differences between loving someone and loving an idea of them.

Today I found out something I didn’t know.

I don’t think I would want love to function like a drug, giving me an immediate and sustained high. I do not want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.
To know love, I found out I have to invest time and commitment… I do not dream that love will save me, solve all my problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security, only keeps me stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love.
When I have to keep things in my heart, I know I will never tell to another person. They are me, my private joys and sorrows. I cheapen myself, the inside of myself, when I tell them. Even more, I tell the people the things about me, what I am not.

Suffering is the face of my ego-centrism. Maybe you asked  me “Why”? My self does not differ mainly from yours in terms of the way we think. When someone steps on my foot, only I feel the pain. The basis of the self is not thought but suffering, which is the most fundamental of all feelings. I found out the man I love wanted to stay in silence for so many years. Why? In intense suffering the world disappears and suddenly he is alone with him self. He doesn’t like change, he doesn’t like me – the women to support or love him. He was caught between the old model of being the breadwinner and the new model of being the lover in my life. Unless he really is able to look back at what happened, he can’t find my feeling. Suffering is the face of his ego-centrism. Only knowing that, he can go back and find my feeling, and the feeling is what counts. Why? True love is a feeling…which can neither be defined nor described! True love is not a choice. It is something I know in my heart when all guilt, doubt and fear are removed. Am I the best or the worst person in his life? Maybe I drive everyone mad by being so good.

The being in love part means the other person loves you and you know it. For a female this means that I sense the man loves me by his actions and words, tone of voice, body language.

He keeps at it, keeps trying to express his love, then I fall in love with him. Means we love each other. I love him and he loves me. I love him because he first loved me.

I am what I love, not what loves me back.
I need an everyday shot of “I love you” from the other person and if I do not get it,I feel sad. etc. etc.
Which means I found the man, who I love, and he loved (loves) me back and I did enjoy it, but it is not the source of my happiness.

Yes I know this is very difficult and it sounds almost impossible. But if you believe the fact, it can give piece of mind, and heal lots of broken hearts.

Actually the feeling of being in love is very close to how a human being natural feels.
Loving him and being in love with him are two different things, but both are important. The latter usually applies more to him, a lover, partner, or significant other.
I don’t think I can be in love with the man, if he did not love me,  without loving me first.
So, first you love someone for all their good qualities, everything they are, everything they mean to you, and the role they play in your life.

When you are in love with someone, there is a much deeper passion involved. You don’t simply love them and want them to be well; you actually want them and all of them. …It sounds a bit aggressive, and at times it can appear to be, if love is not equally reciprocated. But being in love is very different than simply loving someone.

Being in love also makes you vulnerable, because you suddenly don’t care about yourself as much as you once did, and you begin caring more for the other person. When you care for someone, anyone, there is always the possibility that they won’t care for you back. This applies not only to a lover, but even to a parent or a friend.

Being in love is scary at times because you never know what will happen. In one second, you could be in love with someone and vice versa, but in the next second, they could change their mind or their heart.

Loving someone is based on what we can do for them. When we love someone we want what is best for them. We are willing to sacrifice our pleasure for their good and we want their good to continue.

In my life, I’ve been on both sides of that coin.
It can be an interesting question whether we love someone or merely love our idea of them.

Whisper

Translated by me, Bulgarian to English translation

When love disappeared,
the pain and sadness is back and all is clear.
When the day’s gone,
the night swims around me
like a black swan.
When he decides to go
“Does he do it slow?”
Yes, you were watching your love dying.
Yes, you were unlimitedly crying.
You’ll feel guilty that you’re still breathing.
But you can’t stop.
Yes, your heart is still bleeding.
Is it a tear or a raindrop?
The dream was here, waiting
to disappear in the depths or sing.
The past beats inside me like a second heart.
To welcome the next fresh start.
Was this love… Acceptance,
Understanding, Appreciation?
Did this love understand the reason,
causing the huge mutation?!

След залеза на всяка обич,
настъпва болка и тъга.
След залеза на всяка вечер
остава мрак и тишина.
Когато някои си отива,
ти нямаш сили да го спреш.
Когато видиш че една любов умира,
ти не можеш с нея да умреш.
Разбираш че мечтите са измама,
че си обичала, а обич няма,
че споменът е болка отлетяла,
че си била щастлива, а не си разбрала. 
― Blaga Dimitrova

Don’t Go in if You Don’t Have a Skin

He swallowed his proudness: “How do you feel?”
I answered: “I feel like I want to touch you, turn down the lights and crawl into that bed with you and spend the night making love with you. All night.”
He asked: “All night?”
I nodded.
“Deal”, he said.

 

In the past I used to tell myself: “You meant the world to me. Every day I wanted to show you, and every day I wanted to prove to you just how much you meant to me….People aren’t always what you want them to be. A lifetime isn’t forever, so take the first chance, don’t wait for the second one! Sometimes someone can disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. If you have a fall, only then you will teach yourself how to get up.  Because sometimes, there aren’t second chances! And if it turns out to be a mistake? So what! This is my life! A whole bunch of mistakes. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope.  It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be.”

Or: “Hearts will break and people will hurt you, darling. Don’t allow somebody to control your life or allow to have a grater hold on your happiness.”

But now I think positively: Every minute that goes by will not return. Every day I’ll show you, and every day I’ll prove to you just how much you mean to me. How much you still mean to me. Some things just couldn’t be protected from storms. Some things simply needed to be broken off…Once you accept the fact that every day is a new day to begin again, life becomes a much easier path to walk. If you never get a second chance: Don’t be afraid! And what if you do get a second chance? You take it! Getting a second life is one thing. Making it a better life, that’s the trick.  I believe, that second chances are stronger than secrets. You can let secrets go. But a second chance? You don’t let that pass you by.

Tell Him

I can tell you some of the things I didn’t learn during my school years:

  • Learning about Logical Consequence is a good place to start.

  • Learning to Speak and Listen. The younger generation has been called the Silent generation….

  • Along with Manners should be extended Kindness and Respect for all people encountered in normal society.

  • It is better to know how to Defend oneself and never need to, than need to and not know how to.

  • They didn’t mention anything about Dating and Romantic relationships. “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly”, said G. K. Chesterton. With some things we will be awkward and fumble when we are learning about how to do them.

  • They didn’t teach me how to be Rich or how to be Poor.

  • They didn’t teach me how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind.

  • They din’t teach me how to tell you, My Darling, I love you so much

  • They didn’t teach me anything worth knowing.

Life’s Greatest Serenity

When I was a child I loved to be alone, I had my dreams. That was the way I knew myself….till one day my dreams came through.

Most single women I know really love their lives. Some of my lifestyle features:

I have my coffee alone in the morning, if I feel like it, lunch at 2 ( if I want ) and dinner never, if that’s the way the day is winding down. Me, as a single woman do not worry about cooking unless I want to. And I don’t want to unless I like to.

 I love people. I love my children… but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where I renew springs that never dry up. I need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of myself I give away. When I am alone I want to be with others, and when I am with others I want to be alone. After all, I am a human being and human beings are like that.

Sometimes we suffer pangs of loneliness, sometimes we ache for the companionship of that mythic soul mate, but mostly we cherish our independence. We love doing whatever we want to do, when we want to do it.

I love not being judged, not being criticized, not being hemmed in. I love the give and take of making my own decisions…I love all those things and I’m aware that most single men I know don’t. They might be OK about living alone, but they don’t cherish these things.

Men often have a need to go to their “cave”. A cave is like “being alone”, but is temporary and – and this is the important distinction – can be experienced while a woman is sitting right next to him on the couch. Women can’t do this. We can’t “escape” to our alone spot when people are around. We’re too aware, too conscious of others’ needs and feelings. We have to physically get away.

Men can remain absorbed in an activity they love. The washing up can engage, dinner time can dominate, a partner might be hovering – and men can continue to do the thing they love (watch telly, fix a bike, read a book) without being distracted. Men (mostly) can satisfy their need to be alone (to get away and to do things they love) while being with a woman. In fact, they feel safer when they do them with a woman.

I find I can’t. When I’m by myself, I can be myself, which is what I want to be. Not just a part of someone else.

A man can be himself alone so long as he is alone… if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.

The person who has not learned to be happy and content while completely alone for an hour a day, or a week has missed life’s greatest serenity