Nolly

"GOD has not called me to be successful. He called me to be Faithful… Never forget or neglect anyone because nobody knows what's coming tomorrow. You will know their value when you can't meet them once again in the lifetime." Mother Teresa "The more society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it…. If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love." George Orwell

Tag Archives: Life

The Needles, Isle of Wight, July Morning 2018

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The Needles

 

Widely considered to be the Isle of Wight’s most famous landmark attraction, the three iconic chalk stacks known as the Needles stand, 30m above sea level, in the English Channel. Serving as a key point on bus routes and hiking trails, and with an amusement park built nearby at Alum Bay to take full advantage of their popularity, the Needles are a year-round hotspot for locals and tourists alike.

To enjoy the best available view of these striking stacks of chalk, take a journey in the famous chairlift, which sweeps down over the cliffs to give visitors a genuine sense of the scale of this unique local landmark.

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The Highly Sensitive Person in Love

To the Sober

 

 

Why do people often not take high sensitivity seriously?

Surprisingly, 15-20% of the population carries the trait that classifies them as highly sensitive, which means they respond to external stimuli more noticeably than non-HSP’s. In highly sensitive people (HSP), the part of their brain that regulates emotions performs differently than their less sensitive counterparts.

One reason is that it is a mostly invisible trait until you are around an highly sensitive person (HSP) long enough to notice certain needs and preferences, such as wanting more downtime or disliking loud noises. High sensitivity is not like hair colour, height, or gender.

Yet I think this trait has as much impact as gender, in that it affects all aspects of life – how you perceive the world and think about it, the kind of work that suits you, how you get along with others and how they get along with you.

We all live in the same communities, but we have very different needs and we cannot easily recognise who is sensitive, who is not. Not being able to see it or even have a good term for it until now, the huge differences in how people behave are blamed on everything except the real cause.

This can be a real source of aggravation in relationships, because we tend to think that if someone is doing something that doesn’t suit us, they ought to be able to change that behaviour if they really love us.

I can give you an example as a real trait: often non-HSPs think everyone should enjoy noisy restaurants or “small talk” and someone who doesn’t is just being fussy, difficult, or demanding.

Being highly sensitive is incredible. It’s beautiful. It’s raw.  But it’s also misunderstood, and a power that isn’t always easy to harness. And, let’s not forget its ability to heal.

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Being highly sensitive is a natural and healthy condition, and it has a number of unique gifts:

  • Intuition – trust yourself

Highly sensitive people tend to be accurately perceptive of what is happening beyond outer layers — below the surface of situations, in the creases of crossings limbs, the pauses at the tip of exhalations, in between the lines, and without narrated reasoning.

Keep harnessing this power: learn to trust your gut, your ears, your shoulders, and your heart. Pay attention to the subtle reactions of your body aka inner world, and tap into the ability to feel the Oneness of all things. You are a vessel for transmission, and of great insight. Feel when your body is pushed forward or  backward people, places and things. Become aware, observe and react accordingly. The more you do it, the more it will grow.

  • Feel

Highly sensitive people can often feel the remnants of an experience, conversation or presence when entering a group, conversation or room. Being able to sense stagnant or left – over energy pockets creates an opportunity to learn how to cleanse, release, increase or decrease vibrations. In other words, to become aware of subtle energetic, flowing Universe around us.

  • Stop holding back, be Super Sexy

Yes. It’s true. Highly sensitive people are super sexy. Why? Mostly because they see through their hearts, love through their hands, and create with a hopeful light.

Keep harnessing this power: give yourself permission to move, create and engage in life intuitively, and with your entire body, and all of your senses. Allow yourself to become enlivened and so very open.

Sigh.

I’m a highly sensitive person, and I’m learning to accept and fall deeply in love with all that means.

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What you have to do when you love a Highly Sensitive Person?

  • DON’T TRY TO CHANGE THEM.

Most of all, accept them as the highly sensitive, emotional, complex person that they are. They can’t help how they feel and how they respond to the world, so simply embrace their true nature and enjoy the light that shines from their beautiful souls.

  • ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH AND DON’T HOLD BACK YOUR EMOTIONS.

Empaths, or highly sensitive people, read energies and body language extremely well. If you want to continue a happy relationship with an HSP, you need to come clean about your emotions, because they will pick up on them regardless. However, they don’t like it when people hide things from them, so just remain honest and open in the relationship. Empaths can sense things going on deep beneath the surface, but they don’t like to play games. They need transparency and trust in a relationship to make it work.

  • RESPECT THEIR HEIGHTENED SENSITIVITY AND EMOTIONS.

They have a deep sense of the emotional world. They can feel other people’s pain and will try to fix it. In return they find themselves with a broken heart. They wear their heart on their sleeve. They have a deep, complex personality and just long for someone to accept and love them regardless of the emotional roller-coaster they tend to put people on. Just love them as they come, and they will love you right back.

  •  GIVE THEM AMPLE ALONE TIME.

Empaths desperately need to decompress from the world around them, and may disappear for hours at a time in their room. Know that they simply need time to process their environment and recharge after going out in society, and that they don’t want to hurt you. They are not retreating or avoiding you, but rather, protecting their precious energy stores. They get their energy from spending time alone, so make sure to give this gift to your highly sensitive lover.

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  • HELP THEM FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT.

Because their minds run a mile a minute, they sometimes have a hard time falling asleep at night. Talk to them gently, caress their back and arms, cuddle with them, or even read to them to get their mind to calm down. Empaths tend to worry about things quite a bit, so creating a peaceful environment at night can do wonders for their insomnia.

  • GO ON ADVENTURES WITH THEM.

Empaths also tend to love nature and spontaneity, so if you love an HSP, take them on an unexpected trip. Surprise them; this makes them feel alive, and takes them away from the mundane nature of daily life that stifles their spirit.

  • ENCOURAGE THEM TO GET OUT AND DO THINGS THEY LOVE.

Empaths can sometimes get in the habit of staying home too often and becoming a total hermit, so try to get them out of the house to challenge them and get them involved in things they love. Your HSP lover might show resistance at first, but they’ll thank you in the long run.

  •  DO CREATIVE THINGS WITH THEM.

Empaths also love it when their partners take on creative projects with them – it makes for a great bonding experience, and plus, you might discover some previously hidden talents of your own!

  • SHOW PLENTY OF AFFECTION.

HSP’s also need tons of love, so don’t hold back. Physical touch helps to reduce anxiety and depression, and in empaths, they feel these emotions on a much deeper level. Your affection helps them to feel loved and wanted, and will easily win them over.

  • STIMULATE THEIR MIND.

Even beyond that, HSP’s need stimulation of the soul; they cannot engage in shallow relationships and meaningless conversations. Bring up topics such as how we got here, aliens, space, physics, animals, nature, or anything remotely deep that involves emotions and thinking on a higher level. Otherwise, they might just pretend to act interested in order to not hurt your feelings.

 

You Won’t Become What You Want To Be, You Become What You Fear To Be.

To the Sober

I knew I loved you before I met you,
I think I dreamed you into life.
I knew I loved you before I met you,
I have been waiting all my life.

I’ve never believed hardship or suffering was meant to be. I’ve never believed relationships were meant to be. Sometimes I think things happen for a reason. If there had once been a chance to meet somebody and there had once been love, then it will still be there in spite of time and obstacles. Destiny is usually just around the corner.

You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it. Because your destiny is real. Because your destiny has not been decided by others, but by you.  Because there are powers far beyond us. Because power is a fickle mistress. 

Have you ever met someone that made you feel like never before? Have you ever met someone who made you feel both happy and sad at the same time? This is simply a case of meeting the right person at the wrong time and it can be a painful experience. 

 If the right person comes at the right time, then everything is great. However, if they come at the wrong time in your life, it will remind you during your life. 

 You will carry it out because you choose to. There’s no need to blame fate or destiny for a stupid decision. And you won’t become what you want to be, you become what you fear to be.

Sometimes you may be the ideal person for your partner but entering a relationship with them at the wrong time is sure to cause unpleasantness. In this case you’re better off without your significant other as this relationship is doomed to fail. This goes both ways – if your partner simply isn’t able to be a loving partner you won’t get anywhere.

We all have arguments about not being able to enter a relationship at some point of our life. Some people focus on their career, while other seek more adventure in their life before settling down. Whatever the excuse, sometimes the simple truth is that at that point of your life you’re just not able to love completely. You’re not prepared to love your partner and try your hardest in the relationship and this can create big problems.

Your right person may not appear at the wrong time, but it can happen. Or they can be the right person for you, but if you are not the person you are meant to be, then the relationship will fail.

Did somebody send you to me? I didn’t even know I needed you. Life can be tough at times. We can’t go back to who we once were.

When you decide to settle down, you should only do it for someone who loves you unconditionally and who’s supportive, calm and warm. Partners shouldn’t be able to live without each other and should be an embodiment of deep love and caring. Only this can make a relationship going.

However, we sometimes meet people who we connect with on a deep level at a wrong point of our life. In this case, you’re better off exiting that relationship as you’re not ready for the compromises that need to be done and devote yourself to your partner.

The purest and deepest love is one when both partners invest in each other and when their emotions and thoughts are being shared.

If you happen to be with the right guy or girl, but you’re not ready to invest yourself in them fully, you need to let them go or you’re in for a painful ride. Yes, letting go of someone you love may be difficult, but – it’s the right move. If you’re in a difficult spot and aren’t able to deal with the hardships of a relationship, then you shouldn’t be in it. You should leave your partner to find another partner who’s able to give them all the love they deserve. 

Destiny is a fickle mistress and you may cross your paths once again. Can you hear whispering the secrets of the destiny into your year:

I was falling in love with her, and she was falling in love with me. It was fated, decided before any of us were born, and I hated it as much as I loved it. 

Until then, however, make sure to work on your issues and resolve them. Once you do, you may meet the right person at the right time and everything will work out great.

Истина

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”

Oscar Wilde

 

Някой ли открадна сърцето ти,
което плачеше нощем на сън.
Увехна нещо вътре в тебе,
не поглеждаш дори навън.

Ще оставиш ли това,
за което си мечтал
и с години си се борил,
път, по който си вървял?

Някой ден сърцето,
ще поиска ей това,
което ти си му отнемал,
без дори да си разбрал.
Някой ден сърцето ще те съди за това,
че много си го лъгал.

Никога не казвай: “Да”,
когато чувствата ги няма в теб,
когато ровиш в твойта самота,
пак се луташ за кой ли път.

Уморен от твоя бяг,
продължаваш все натам,
вътре някъде дълбоко в тебе
и винаги оставаш сам.

I Am in Love With You

   It’s reasonable to love. The real question is ”HOW TO LOVE”, but let me tell you something: “There is not a particular way of loving”. Love someone from the depths of your heart without any time to invade the person. Give to that person a personal space, because if you stifled the person he will finally hate you.

If you’ve ever been in love, you’ve probably at least considered classifying the feeling as an addiction. And guess what: You were right. As it turns out, scientists are discovering that the same chemical process that takes place with addiction takes place when we fall in love.

Love is a chemical state of mind.

Five hormones : Testosterone, Serotonin, Oxytocin, Vasopressin and Dopamine are guilty for the questions:

 “What is love?”, “Am I loved?” or, “Do I love?”

The brains of the madly in love look markedly different from the brains of those who are not in love, associated with craving and obsession.

When we are loved, we tend to feel it intuitively in our guts. But how does it work?

Is there an extrasensory perception in the heart that is able to read the feelings in another person’s heart?

Once in our life, we actually believe of meeting someone who can completely turn our world around. We start absorbing everything and actually want to hear more and in this way we accept the love we think we deserve.

And everything starts from the moment, when we start loving without knowing how…. We reveal our hopes for the future, dreams that will never become a reality, goals that maybe we would never achieve and the many disappointments life has thrown at us.

And after that?

After that he starts building the world of glass especially for us. And inside of this world he would not be embarrassed to cry with us, while we are hurting or laugh along when he makes a fool of himself.

I think it is so difficult to find that half who will make me whole and that goes for everything.

When I am in love I tend to focus on the positive qualities of him, while overlooking his negative traits.

The man I love I think he is unique, feeling romantic passion for no one else. And I am not worried what he will think of me, because I accept and love him for who he is.

I can be myself. There was no pressure, jealousy or competition but only calmness, when he wasn’t around. Very often simple things bring him to mind….

I open my heart knowing, one day I will experience a love and joy again that I never dreamed would be possible. I found that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart feel again. I am nothing special; a common woman with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. But I’ve loved him with all my heart and soul.

I am wondering, if this is enough to me?

 

My Experience About How I Feel When I Love

I earned my place with the tidal waves.
I can’t escape this feeling, that I want you in my life.

I called your name as I crashed the gates…
And still I can’t escape this feeling, that I want you in my life.

No doubt there is much more that could be said here about the differences between loving someone and loving an idea of them.

Today I found out something I didn’t know.

I don’t think I would want love to function like a drug, giving me an immediate and sustained high. I do not want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.
To know love, I found out I have to invest time and commitment… I do not dream that love will save me, solve all my problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security, only keeps me stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love.
When I have to keep things in my heart, I know I will never tell to another person. They are me, my private joys and sorrows. I cheapen myself, the inside of myself, when I tell them. Even more, I tell the people the things about me, what I am not.

Suffering is the face of my ego-centrism. Maybe you asked  me “Why”? My self does not differ mainly from yours in terms of the way we think. When someone steps on my foot, only I feel the pain. The basis of the self is not thought but suffering, which is the most fundamental of all feelings. I found out the man I love wanted to stay in silence for so many years. Why? In intense suffering the world disappears and suddenly he is alone with him self. He doesn’t like change, he doesn’t like me – the women to support or love him. He was caught between the old model of being the breadwinner and the new model of being the lover in my life. Unless he really is able to look back at what happened, he can’t find my feeling. Suffering is the face of his ego-centrism. Only knowing that, he can go back and find my feeling, and the feeling is what counts. Why? True love is a feeling…which can neither be defined nor described! True love is not a choice. It is something I know in my heart when all guilt, doubt and fear are removed. Am I the best or the worst person in his life? Maybe I drive everyone mad by being so good.

The being in love part means the other person loves you and you know it. For a female this means that I sense the man loves me by his actions and words, tone of voice, body language.

He keeps at it, keeps trying to express his love, then I fall in love with him. Means we love each other. I love him and he loves me. I love him because he first loved me.

I am what I love, not what loves me back.
I need an everyday shot of “I love you” from the other person and if I do not get it,I feel sad. etc. etc.
Which means I found the man, who I love, and he loved (loves) me back and I did enjoy it, but it is not the source of my happiness.

Yes I know this is very difficult and it sounds almost impossible. But if you believe the fact, it can give piece of mind, and heal lots of broken hearts.

Actually the feeling of being in love is very close to how a human being natural feels.
Loving him and being in love with him are two different things, but both are important. The latter usually applies more to him, a lover, partner, or significant other.
I don’t think I can be in love with the man, if he did not love me,  without loving me first.
So, first you love someone for all their good qualities, everything they are, everything they mean to you, and the role they play in your life.

When you are in love with someone, there is a much deeper passion involved. You don’t simply love them and want them to be well; you actually want them and all of them. …It sounds a bit aggressive, and at times it can appear to be, if love is not equally reciprocated. But being in love is very different than simply loving someone.

Being in love also makes you vulnerable, because you suddenly don’t care about yourself as much as you once did, and you begin caring more for the other person. When you care for someone, anyone, there is always the possibility that they won’t care for you back. This applies not only to a lover, but even to a parent or a friend.

Being in love is scary at times because you never know what will happen. In one second, you could be in love with someone and vice versa, but in the next second, they could change their mind or their heart.

Loving someone is based on what we can do for them. When we love someone we want what is best for them. We are willing to sacrifice our pleasure for their good and we want their good to continue.

In my life, I’ve been on both sides of that coin.
It can be an interesting question whether we love someone or merely love our idea of them.

Whisper

Translated by me, Bulgarian to English translation

When love disappeared,
the pain and sadness is back and all is clear.
When the day’s gone,
the night swims around me
like a black swan.
When he decides to go
“Does he do it slow?”
Yes, you were watching your love dying.
Yes, you were unlimitedly crying.
You’ll feel guilty that you’re still breathing.
But you can’t stop.
Yes, your heart is still bleeding.
Is it a tear or a raindrop?
The dream was here, waiting
to disappear in the depths or sing.
The past beats inside me like a second heart.
To welcome the next fresh start.
Was this love… Acceptance,
Understanding, Appreciation?
Did this love understand the reason,
causing the huge mutation?!

След залеза на всяка обич,
настъпва болка и тъга.
След залеза на всяка вечер
остава мрак и тишина.
Когато някои си отива,
ти нямаш сили да го спреш.
Когато видиш че една любов умира,
ти не можеш с нея да умреш.
Разбираш че мечтите са измама,
че си обичала, а обич няма,
че споменът е болка отлетяла,
че си била щастлива, а не си разбрала. 
― Blaga Dimitrova

Don’t Go in if You Don’t Have a Skin

He swallowed his proudness: “How do you feel?”
I answered: “I feel like I want to touch you, turn down the lights and crawl into that bed with you and spend the night making love with you. All night.”
He asked: “All night?”
I nodded.
“Deal”, he said.

In the past I used to tell myself: “You meant the world to me. Every day I wanted to show you, and every day I wanted to prove to you just how much you meant to me….People aren’t always what you want them to be. A lifetime isn’t forever, so take the first chance, don’t wait for the second one! Sometimes someone can disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. If you have a fall, only then you will teach yourself how to get up.  Because sometimes, there aren’t second chances! And if it turns out to be a mistake? So what! This is my life! A whole bunch of mistakes. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope.  It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be.”

Or: “Hearts will break and people will hurt you, darling. Don’t allow somebody to control your life or allow to have a grater hold on your happiness.”

But now I think positively: Every minute that goes by will not return. Every day I’ll show you, and every day I’ll prove to you just how much you mean to me. How much you still mean to me. Some things just couldn’t be protected from storms. Some things simply needed to be broken off…Once you accept the fact that every day is a new day to begin again, life becomes a much easier path to walk. If you never get a second chance: Don’t be afraid! And what if you do get a second chance? You take it! Getting a second life is one thing. Making it a better life, that’s the trick.  I believe, that second chances are stronger than secrets. You can let secrets go. But a second chance? You don’t let that pass you by.

Tell Him

I can tell you some of the things I didn’t learn during my school years:

  • Learning about Logical Consequence is a good place to start.

  • Learning to Speak and Listen. The younger generation has been called the Silent generation….

  • Along with Manners should be extended Kindness and Respect for all people encountered in normal society.

  • It is better to know how to Defend oneself and never need to, than need to and not know how to.

  • They didn’t mention anything about Dating and Romantic relationships. “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly”, said G. K. Chesterton. With some things we will be awkward and fumble when we are learning about how to do them.

  • They didn’t teach me how to be Rich or how to be Poor.

  • They didn’t teach me how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind.

  • They din’t teach me how to tell you, My Darling, I love you so much

  • They didn’t teach me anything worth knowing.

Life’s Greatest Serenity

When I was a child I loved to be alone, I had my dreams. That was the way I knew myself….till one day my dreams came through.

Most single women I know really love their lives. Some of my lifestyle features:

I have my coffee alone in the morning, if I feel like it, lunch at 2 ( if I want ) and dinner never, if that’s the way the day is winding down. Me, as a single woman do not worry about cooking unless I want to. And I don’t want to unless I like to.

 I love people. I love my children… but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where I renew springs that never dry up. I need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of myself I give away. When I am alone I want to be with others, and when I am with others I want to be alone. After all, I am a human being and human beings are like that.

Sometimes we suffer pangs of loneliness, sometimes we ache for the companionship of that mythic soul mate, but mostly we cherish our independence. We love doing whatever we want to do, when we want to do it.

I love not being judged, not being criticized, not being hemmed in. I love the give and take of making my own decisions…I love all those things and I’m aware that most single men I know don’t. They might be OK about living alone, but they don’t cherish these things.

Men often have a need to go to their “cave”. A cave is like “being alone”, but is temporary and – and this is the important distinction – can be experienced while a woman is sitting right next to him on the couch. Women can’t do this. We can’t “escape” to our alone spot when people are around. We’re too aware, too conscious of others’ needs and feelings. We have to physically get away.

Men can remain absorbed in an activity they love. The washing up can engage, dinner time can dominate, a partner might be hovering – and men can continue to do the thing they love (watch telly, fix a bike, read a book) without being distracted. Men (mostly) can satisfy their need to be alone (to get away and to do things they love) while being with a woman. In fact, they feel safer when they do them with a woman.

I find I can’t. When I’m by myself, I can be myself, which is what I want to be. Not just a part of someone else.

A man can be himself alone so long as he is alone… if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.

The person who has not learned to be happy and content while completely alone for an hour a day, or a week has missed life’s greatest serenity