Nolly

"GOD has not called me to be successful. He called me to be Faithful… Never forget or neglect anyone because nobody knows what's coming tomorrow. You will know their value when you can't meet them once again in the lifetime." Mother Teresa

Life’s Greatest Serenity

When I was a child I loved to be alone, I had my dreams. That was the way I knew myself….till one day my dreams came through.

Most single women I know really love their lives. Some of my lifestyle features:

I have my coffee alone in the morning, if I feel like it, lunch at 2 ( if I want ) and dinner never, if that’s the way the day is winding down. Me, as a single woman do not worry about cooking unless I want to. And I don’t want to unless I like to.

 I love people. I love my children… but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where I renew springs that never dry up. I need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of myself I give away. When I am alone I want to be with others, and when I am with others I want to be alone. After all, I am a human being and human beings are like that.

Sometimes we suffer pangs of loneliness, sometimes we ache for the companionship of that mythic soul mate, but mostly we cherish our independence. We love doing whatever we want to do, when we want to do it.

I love not being judged, not being criticized, not being hemmed in. I love the give and take of making my own decisions…I love all those things and I’m aware that most single men I know don’t. They might be OK about living alone, but they don’t cherish these things.

Men often have a need to go to their “cave”. A cave is like “being alone”, but is temporary and – and this is the important distinction – can be experienced while a woman is sitting right next to him on the couch. Women can’t do this. We can’t “escape” to our alone spot when people are around. We’re too aware, too conscious of others’ needs and feelings. We have to physically get away.

Men can remain absorbed in an activity they love. The washing up can engage, dinner time can dominate, a partner might be hovering – and men can continue to do the thing they love (watch telly, fix a bike, read a book) without being distracted. Men (mostly) can satisfy their need to be alone (to get away and to do things they love) while being with a woman. In fact, they feel safer when they do them with a woman.

I find I can’t. When I’m by myself, I can be myself, which is what I want to be. Not just a part of someone else.

A man can be himself alone so long as he is alone… if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.

The person who has not learned to be happy and content while completely alone for an hour a day, or a week has missed life’s greatest serenity

 

 

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